Unfinished Business
by Lady Etiquette
Summary: Jamie faces the truth and his worse fears. A love story. The characters aren't mine and I'm only barrowing them for selfish reasons.
1. Chapter 1

St Vince's Hospital

Jamie sat in the front pew of the hospital chapel, staring blankly up at the altar. The non-denominational cross hung reverently in the glow of flickering white church candles and creamy white poinsettias decorating the small religious vestibule with solemn holiday reminders. Somehow the divine lightness of the scene stood in contrast to the darkness and loss that permeated St Vince's. He had sat in the same pew the night his mother died, and then when Joe died. He was tired of reconciling with death. He raised an arm to pull a hand over his face and the dried blood on his uniform crunched with the motion, its metallic earthy smell assaulting his senses. He let out a long sigh oblivious to the sound of his father entering the refuge.

Frank walked up to the end of the pew and stood momentarily, taking in Jamie's appearance. Blood was still smeared across his jaw and down the front of his uniform shirt. He was unshaven and hadn't put his head on a pillow in over 24 hours. "I thought I'd find you here."

Jamie didn't miss a beat. "I'm not sure why considering that he's taken my mother, my brother and Vinnie. And now…" He left the criticism open ended. "With all due respect I'm not in the mood for a lecture, Commissioner."

"I'm not here to give one, so lose the attitude." He sighed and shoved his hands in to the pockets of his top coat. "And I'm not here as your boss but as your Dad. You've been here for over 20 hours and you look like you're about to fall over. I'm worried about you."

"Why worry about me? I'm right as rain. It's my partner who had two rounds in her chest and spent five hours on an operating table having them dug out." His frustration and nausea prompted him to run a hand through his hair and let out a long breath. "The same God who keeps taking my family away showed up again last night to take Eddie." He spoke sharply, something he'd been in a habit of lately. "I could have protected her if I'd been on tour with her." He felt the last rays of hope seep out of him. "But I was in another patrol car with a rookie and when we arrived at the scene it was too late. But it should have been me in the car with her. I should have been beside her, not Ragetti."

Frank could feel Jamie's anger radiate off of him from five feet away. "If you'd been driving the RMP yesterday, Jamie, it would be you in the morgue downstairs instead of officer Ragetti." He glanced at the floor and then back at his son. "There's nothing you could have done that Tony Ragetti didn't do or that would have prevented this."

Franks words were met with silence as Jamie thought about his father's comments. "Four years," he whispered trying to make sense of it all. "For four years Eddie and I have rolled out together. I've always been right next to her." He shut his eyes, "…right next to her." He shook his head, still in disbelief. "I've always been there. I said no to a promotion and declined having a different partner so I could be right there….right beside her where I could protect her." He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs in a defeated slump. "And then last night, the one night Eddie picks up an extra shift and rides with someone else, she takes two bullets to go along with it." He looked back up at the altar as though speaking to it. "I know Ragetti was a damn good cop. But if I'd been there…" His voice trailed off and he raised an open hand to his face and lowered his forehead in to.

"Don't do this to yourself. It's not fair to you and it's a disservice to Officer Ragetti. He did exactly what he should have done. What he was trained to do. What you would have done and what I would have done. There were two perps and it was a fire fight and Ragetti and Janko followed the book!" Frank exhaled, the sighs of the dead haunting him. "At the end of the day what we do is dangerous. You know that. And Tony and Eddie knew that. And there's nothing we can do to change it any more than we could for Joe or Vinnie." He softened his voice. "But Officer Janko still has a chance. The docs say she's a fighter."

The corners of Jamie's mouth turned up in to a melancholy smile. "Tell me about it." The watery words revealed the emotion he'd been fighting back since the shooting. He finally looked up at his father. "The EMTS nearly lost her in the ambulance. The surgery to remove the bullets from her chest was touch and go. They had to defibrillate her on the table. Twice." He pulled his hand over his face again, his voice growing quiet and adrift. "They told me to hope for the best but prepare for the worse. It could go either way."

Frank nodded and looked at Jamie and noticed the red rimmed eyes with dark circles. He also saw a worry and an emotion he hadn't noticed before, or maybe it had been hiding in plain sight right in front of him. "Something tells me we're not just talking about Eddie as your police partner." He waited, sizing up Jamie's expression. "Even when you were a little boy you wore your heart on your sleeve but kept your feelings sealed up inside it. So full of secrets."

Jamie looked back down at the floor. "Nothing's happened between us if that's what you're implying." It was an accusation more than a question.

Frank shook his head. "I wasn't implying anything." He sat down next to Jamie and admired the altar. "For what it's worth I knew your mother for a year before I ever kissed her." The memory brought an almost imperceptible smile to his face and his voice became a whisper lost in the memory. "But I wanted to every time I saw her. For a whole year which seemed like a lifetime. I guess love doesn't always make a loud entrance but can sneak up behind us." He looked over at Jamie. "Are you in love with her?"

He struggled to get the words out even now. The truth he'd kept hidden for so many years, from Eddie and from himself, now on the tip of his tongue. His voice was raw with emotion. "I can't imagine my life without her."

"That isn't what I asked."

He looked back at Frank, his exhaustion and worry unraveling the emotions in his heart. "Yes. Yes, I love her, Dad. I didn't mean for it to happen, but…." Hearing himself finally say it out loud took him by surprise. "I lied to myself and I never told Eddie. I never said the words so she could hear them. She tried to talk to me but I found ways to avoid the conversation we should have had." His confession seemed appropriate in a church but he felt like he would choke on his own regret. "I hesitated because I thought we had time." He shook his head again and huffed out a cynical laugh. "And then God showed up again last night and proved me wrong."

Frank put a reassuring hand on his arm and gently squeezed. "People in comas can hear, Jamie. And the time you may not have in the future you have right now. But don't waste it, son." He watched as Jamie looked at him again, seeing the look of the little boy he used to comfort. "I spoke to your Mom even when I worried she couldn't hear me. But she did. Same with Joe. And you know that." He looked back at the altar. "And God willing, Eddie will still pull through which we're all praying for. But if you tell her now and the worse happens, at least she'll know. And so will you."

Jamie looked at him for several moments. The quiet atmosphere of the chapel helped keep the noise in his head from overwhelming him. "Are you sure she'll hear, Dad?"

"Her heart will hear, you. You can count on it. And don't forget that God makes that happen, too." He picked up Jamie's police jacket and held it out to him. "Tell her."

 **A/N** Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. Hopefully Jamie will find a way to tell Eddie the truth! :)


	2. Chapter 2

Jamie walked through the Critical Care Unit and in to the room where Eddie was being treated. She was lying in a bed with several tubes from her arms connecting her to two IVs and various monitoring machines with green and blue lights that occasionally flickered. Her chest was bound with heavy white bandaging which moved up and down with the cadence of her breaths.

He carefully reached down and traced a finger tip over the soft skin of her hand and gingerly slipped several fingers around hers until he was holding her hand in his. They were alone in the silence of the room and when he found his voice it was a whisper. "Eddie, it's me." He paused awkwardly waiting—hoping—as though something might happen. It didn't. Her eyes remained closed and she lay motionless. He noticed her hand felt cold so he clasped both hands around it wanting to keep her warm and whispered her name again. He wanted to find the right words—to say the right thing—but stood beside her silently cursing himself and his Harvard education. "Eddie…it's Jamie. There's so much…." The sound of someone entering the room startled him and he turned to look over his shoulder, Eddie's hand still firmly clasped in his. He slightly recognized the female doctor in the white coat.

Jennifer Bennett smiled warmly. Her voice and eyes were filled with empathy and friendship. "Hey, Jamie." Her voice was soft and supportive. "I'm so sorry we're running in to each other under such terrible circumstances and everything these officers have been through, especially your partner. I know what she means to you."

He nodded and greeted Jenn as an old friend, which is all their brief handful of dates two years earlier had been about anyway. "I didn't' realize you were one of her doctors."

"When I saw Officer Janko's name on the report as one of the two officers who were brought in yesterday I knew it was your Eddie, so I wanted to help."

 _His Eddie_. He liked hearing it put that way and wanted her to be his, but wasn't as sure as the doctor Eddie would agree. "Thanks for being here. How long have you worked in critical care?"

"I don't," she said walking over to the monitors on the other side of the bed. "But during my residency I specialized in trauma care and working with coma patients. I thought I might be able to help." She glanced at the monitor screens. "Huh, that's odd."

"What?" Fear was keeping a tight grasp on what remained of his composure. "What's wrong?" He held Eddie's hand closer against him.

"Her vitals are up." She tapped a fingernail against the monitor. "I just checked them a while ago and they were still below normal. But now the counts are up." She looked over her shoulder with a tentative smile. "You're good for her."

He took a deep breath. He hated hospitals and his head was fuzzy from lack of sleep and he felt confused. "I don't understand"

"It means even though Eddie's asleep she knows you're here. She can feel you touch her and hear the sound of your voice. It's reassuring to her so her vitals are doing better." She pulled a stethoscope from around her neck and leaned over Eddie and directed her attention to her. "Hi, Officer Janko, my name is Jennifer Bennett. I was here earlier." She spoke softly and as though Eddie was awake. "I'm one of the doctors helping you and I'm going to take a listen to your heart." Putting the ear pieces in she gently placed the scope against Eddie's chest and listened. "Sounds good, Very good," she murmured with medical satisfaction. She looked back at Jamie. "Like I said, you're good for her."

He huffed out a laugh. "I'm not sure she'd agree if she were awake."

Jenn walked back around the bed. "All that matters is that you're here with her. And speaking as a doctor I'd like to also remind you that you can't take care of Eddie if you don't take care of yourself. How long since you've slept?"

Jamie held a hand up. "You can skip the speech about going home to get some sleep because I'm not leaving my partner."

"I wasn't going to suggest you leave. I think it's good you're here with her. I was going to suggest having one of the reclining chairs from the doctor's lounge brought in the room so you can get a little decent rest. We do that for spouses and significant others of patients."

He nodded in appreciation. Running in to Jenn reminded him to be grateful for small favors. "Thanks."

"And I'll bet you haven't had any real food either so I'll have one of the nurses order a food tray. Is chicken still your favorite?" Her eyes smiled at him.

Food sounded good and his stomach answered before he did reminding him the last thing he'd eaten was a bowl of cold cereal around nine on the morning. "Yeah, sounds great. Thank you."

"Don't mention it." She patted his arm. "Now, I'll leave you too alone to talk." Jenn pulled the door to the room closed behind her as she left.

His hand still clasped with Eddie's, Jamie pulled the uncomfortable green hospital chair as close to the bed as he could and sat down. He reached a hand up to her head and used several fingers to carefully brush her hair away from her face. "I don't know if you can really hear me or not, Eddie, but I'm sitting right here beside you." While holding her hand he also tenderly caressed her arm, his fingers tracing over the delicate bones of her wrist. "Funny running in to Jenn Bennett, huh? Small world. Remember that time a couple of years ago when we had that disagreement about her and I tracked you down in that bar to apologize?" The memory made him smile. "I said something about you and me having something between us and that I felt like I was flying in the dark?" He could still envision Eddie with her hair down around her shoulders telling him she had been jealous. "The truth was instead of talking about what was really going on I avoided it." His hand continued to move tenderly up and down her arm. "Somehow I thought ignoring my feelings would help, but it only made things worse. The first of a lot of mistakes that I've made, Eddie. So I think it's my turn to clear the air."

Despite his words she lay silently asleep. Her stillness in the bed was almost disarmingly peaceful. His own sleeping beauty who he desperately wanted to reawaken with a confession. "When I told you I had feelings for you that wasn't exactly the whole story." He leaned forward in the chair wanting to make sure she could hear him. "Eddie, the truth is you've been the most important person in my life for a long time. And in all that time the reason I haven't gotten serious with anyone else is because no matter who I'm with I can't stop thinking about you." His mind remembered all of the moments between them, a blur of memories that filled his heart. "Somewhere along the line our work partnership became a personal one. And its' the only one that matters in my life." His fingers gently slid through hers, lacing them together. With his free hand he adjusted the bed covers around her to make sure she was warm. "You've been the only woman in my life and I'm a little clumsy with all of this because I've never fallen in love with one of my partners before." He looked at their intertwined fingers. "I mean let's face it, Vinnie wasn't exactly my type and Renzulli is a terrible dancer." The levity made him smile at himself and he ached to hear the sound of her laughter again. "I'm sorry you weren't awake to hear me say that."

Her chest moved up and down, breathing rhythmically as he spoke. He was grateful she was alive but his heart broke that she was locked away in a dream. He ached to find her, to break a door down and rescue her, desperately hoping she could hear him. He bent his elbows against the bed and raised her hand to his lips and pressed quiet kisses against the cool skin of her fingers. "My life," he whispered, "is only half full without you, Eddie. You make me a better person and I'm so sorry I haven't been brave enough—or honest enough—to tell you that. To be there for you the way I should have been." His eyes watered and he blinked back hot stinging tears. "What I'm doing such a poor job of saying is that I love you." He pressed another kiss to her hand. "I have for a long time and even though you deserve a better man than me I want you to wake up so I can tell you all of this the way I should have and help you get well again." Only the sound of the monitors was the reply he heard.

Eddie lay silently in the presence of his words and tears. She was everything to him and was now his altar for a prayer he finally felt in his heart. "Dear merciful God in heaven." He breathed the words out as a desperate watery plea in to their clasped hands. "If you're out there, if you can hear me, please bring her back." He pressed his forehead against their hands the way he had pressed it against her after a kiss. "If it's a life you need than let her live and take me instead. Please spare Eddie and take me. I've never begged you for anything but I'm begging you now for this!" He meant every word as he spoke around the lump in his throat. "Please God hear my prayer…"

Jamie quietly prayed and spoke with Eddie through the night. Unable to leave her side he rested his head on the bed, his cheek against the cold mattress, still holding her hand, talking until his eyes slipped closed, fighting to stay awake but unable to avoid the sleep he had deprived himself of.

Falling in to the depth of his sleep beside her, he wasn't awake to feel Eddie's hand move in his.

 **A/N** THANK YOU for reading my story and for your kind words! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N** Hi everyone! For your reading pleasure! :)

* * *

In Eddie's dream she felt warm, safe and protected. The world around her was surrounded by love. Heaven? Limbo? She didn't know. What she did know was that as wonderful as it all was, something drew her back. She believed she could actually hear him talking to her and telling her his most personal thoughts. Her connection to Jamie kept her alive but there was also unfinished business between them and Eddie needed to know how their story ends.

A blinking green light distracted her, its annoying intermittent flickering acted like an alarm clock, telling her to wake up. She felt herself begin to stir, feeling groggy and tired. Her eyelids were heavy as they slowly open until she was peering through them and staring up at the green light. Her vision, like her head, was fuzzy but she could see that it was a heart monitor beside the bed she was laying in. She could hear little blips and bleeps as a heart shaped symbol pulsed with the beat of her heart, confirmation that she survived. It was all surreal.

Her head ached and her limbs felt sluggish but she could move. Raising a hand to her head she glanced down and saw Jamie's head on the hospital bed beside her, sound asleep. He was holding her other hand and she could hear the sound of his breathing. She tried to say his name but her voice was hoarse and dry. It finally came out as a raspy whisper. "Jamie."

The sensation of her movement and the sounds of her whisper immediately woke him up. His eyes opened and he saw her blue eyes looking down at him. "Eddie?" She was like an oasis after he had crossed a vast, desperate desert of fear and loss-and now she was with him again and gave him life and sustenance. He leaned up and over her, both ecstatic and afraid about her condition. "Can you hear me? Do you remember what happened?" His right hand reached for the attendant button and began pressing it, an electronic call for a nurse.

She could tell she was drugged. Pain killers, she told herself but she was alert enough. "Yeah, I remember." Her hand rubbed her forehead. Looking up at him she could read his face. "Ragetti." Saying the name she knew her worse fears were going to be verified. "He didn't make it, did he?"

Jamie worried about what affect the truth might have on her but he also knew he couldn't lie to her. He owed her more than that and their partnership was built on trust. He slowly shook his head, unsure of how fragile she might be but answering her question. "No, He didn't. I'm so sorry Eddie." He gently brushed a hand over her head and kept his voice tender and reassuring. "But you're alive and that's what matters right now."

As he spoke her vision was finally coming back in to focus and she could finally see Jamie's features clearly. She was horrified at what she saw. Hallowed blood shot eyes, underlined by dark cold circles, with a gaunt and tense expression. He was unshaven with dried blood around his jaw and neck, and what remained of his uniform was disheveled and covered in blood. "Oh my God, Jamie, what happened to you?" The heart monitor started beeping faster revealing the worry that also began to cover her face. Her voice filling with fear. "Were you hurt too?"

"What?" He hadn't looked in a mirror for several days and apparently it showed. "No, no, Eddie, nothing is wrong with me. I'm fine." He tried to convince her, his hand still rubbing her head. "When I got to the scene I tried to help Ragetti and then rode with you in the ambulance to St. Vince's."

She searched his eyes and then realized what he was telling her. "When was that?"

"Almost three days ago."

Her hand squeezed his arm. "And you've been here the whole time?"

His heart was on the table now. "Where else would I be?"

She could see it in his face and hear it in his words. The warmth and security she felt in her dream had been him. He had been with her the whole time and she knew it—she had known it all along. "Oh, Jamie." There are worse things than a gunshot wound. She reached for his hand. "You've been here the whole time?"

He pressed his head against hers and nodded. "Of course I have." Before either of them could say anything more the room filled with nurses followed by Dr. Bennett. Eddie glanced at Jamie and spoke under her breath. "Great. I'm practically dying and I get your old flame, Doctor Lamb Chop."

Her humor told him that she would be alright. He was grateful and his relief was almost as overwhelming as his worry. He kissed her cheek and her forehead, murmuring against her skin. "But you're the only one who's my soul mate." He said the words to himself as much as he did to her.

Jamie was ushered away so she could be examined and taken care of. For the first time in nearly three days Jamie felt like he could breathe again. He could put one foot in front of the other and join the living. He wasn't sure if God had accepted his plea deal—his life for Eddie's—or not. All he cared about was that Eddie was going to be ok. He thanked God and the powers that be for the second chance and promised himself he would get it right.

Starting with flowers.

 **A/N** :-)


	4. Chapter 4

Jamie got off the elevator of St. Vince's fifth floor. Ever since Eddie left the ICU he had been bringing her flowers and today was no exception. He had a small bouquet of white and pink flowers and the florist added holiday evergreen and spruce accents that glistened and brought the smell of Christmas to her. In his other hand he carried a large brown, unmarked restaurant bag by the handles. Eddie's recovery had gone smoothly and she was recovering in a regular room where she'd been for the last twelve days. The relief he had felt when she first woke up had turned to happiness and as the days went by she regained her strength and he regained his optimism.

The door to her room was ajar and he craned his head to peek inside. He was surprised to see Henry sitting across from Eddie, their chairs beneath the window. An enormous spray of long stem red and white roses with evergreen and a large red velvet bow dominated the window sill beside them. Jamie instantly recognized Henry's expensive taste in flowers and shook his head at himself at being upstaged by his grandfather. He knocked lightly on the door. "Anyone home?"

"Hey, there you are." Eddie had gotten used to having him stop by on his way to work, sometimes over lunch, and again at the end of tour. To some extent she dreaded her release from the hospital when his visits would surely grow less frequent. "Today must be my luck day," she said leaning back in her chair with teasing smugness, "two Reagan men. I should buy a lottery ticket."

"Not just any two." Henry quipped. "We're the crème de la crème of the Reagan gents."

Jamie stifled a laugh. "What are you doing here grandpa?"

Henry looked at him as he pulled his coat on. "What, can't I have a private conversation with a beautiful woman? It's none of your bee's wax why I'm here."

"I didn't realize I had competition." He liked kidding with Henry and gave Eddie a quick glance. She shrugged but kept quiet behind a coquettish smile.

Henry laughed. "If you must know I dropped by to check in on Officer Janko and I happen to stumble upon a florist on my way over here." He leaned toward Eddie and patted her arm, his tone encouraging and warm. "Remember what we talked about."

"I will, commissioner. Thanks."

"It's Henry. And don't forget my invitation for Christmas dinner. It won't be fancy, just family and the best prime rib you'll ever have. And you'll get the best seat in the house next to me and Jamie."

"I appreciate it and I'll think about it, ok?"

"Deal. But just remember I'm not accustomed to having my dinner invitations turned down."

She chuckled. "I'll remember that."

As Henry left he turned to Jamie. "She may need some convincing so it's in your hands." He winked and turned and walked out to the hallway, disappearing among white coats and nurses in scrubs.

Jamie knew the bit about Henry stumbling upon a florist was a white lie. The roses were beautiful and he probably used his regular florist, La Belle, and ordered them, which made Jamie love him all the more. He looked at Eddie, happy to see her happy and her face filled with color again. She was dressed in black yoga pants and a pale pink cardigan sweater that buttoned up to her neck. Crew neck cardigans had become her uniform in the hospital—they were warm and could easily be unbuttoned for visiting doctors who needed to examine her recovering wounds. Her usual low cut necklines had been abandoned and seeing her covered up tugged at his heart and filled him with an urge to protect her. "Should I be worried?" he teased as he looked at her, realizing her hair was slightly curled and she had make up on.

Her eyes teased him back. "It depends on what's in the bag you brought?" He handed her the flowers first and leaned over and pressed a kiss against her cheek. She noticed he was wearing aftershave. He never wore it at work, only after hours and usually when he was going out on a date. It made her smile that he wore it for her. She wondered if he noticed her hair as she raised the bouquet to her nose and breathed in the white and pink carnations and spruce.

He cocked his head to one side. "You look amazing."

 _He noticed_ , she mused to herself. "Thanks. Doing my hair and putting on a little makeup makes me feel like a new woman. Plus your old girl friend Doctor Bennett said I'm being released tomorrow. "

"That's great news! And she was never my girlfriend." He playfully plucked the flowers from her hand. "Here let me put those in water." He spotted a vase with half dead flowers he'd brought almost a week earlier. He pulled out the old flowers and filled it with the new bouquet along with fresh water. He set them on the nightstand. He took the seat Henry had been in. "How do you feel today?"

Eddie had been watching him and welcomed the chance to share the more serious part of her day. "I spoke with Ragetti's family this afternoon."

"How're they doing?"

"As well as can be expected. His mom was nice." Her fingers picked at a lose thread on her pants. "And now I'm just feeling a little guilty. That's what I was talking to your grandfather about."

"Survivor's guilt is normal, Eddie. I know Ragetti's loss is tragic but you shouldn't feel guilty because you lived."

It was funny, she thought, how well they knew each other but could still misread their signals. "That's not why I feel guilty."

Jamie felt confused. "What do you mean?"

Eddie was embarrassed and even a little terrified by what was in her heart. Telling Jamie wasn't any easier. "You know how much I liked and respected Tony and if I could change anything I would want him alive and back here with us."

"I know that." He nodded and sat forward, leaning closer to her.

She crossed her arm in front of her steeling herself to tell him. "Jamie, when Ragetti and I were chasing those perps in to that parking lot and he was shot and went down, I desperately wanted to help him and tried."

He could see the subtle veil of conflict in her face. "I know. But Eddie, you don't…"

She cut him off with the truth, her voice barely above a whisper as she shared her secret with him. "But the reality is that as much I wanted Ragetti to be ok, I couldn't help but feel grateful that it wasn't you." Her eyes searched his making sure he understood her. "In my heart I was grateful that you didn't drive that RMP that day so that it wasn't you who was hit."

He reached for her hand wanting to find away to draw her closer. "It's normal to feel this way."

The tender tone and warmth of his voice and his touch softened the wounds inside of her and Eddie felt a reluctant smile return. "That's what you're grandfather said, too."

He rubbed her hand, tethering them together wanting her to feel the things he felt. "What else did he say?"

"That it happened to him and he said doing something to commemorate that person can help." She tugged at their hands. "He suggested I find a way to honor Tony Ragetti in a way that keeps him in my heart. Help lessen the feeling of loss and unfinished business."

Unfinished business, Jamie pondered. "He gave me that advice when I Iost my mom. It really helped."

She leaned on the edge of her chair so that their faces were inches apart. "And what did you decide to do to honor your mother's memory?"

His fingers brushed over hers. "She would have wanted me to go back to practicing law, which I considered, but I couldn't do that. I'm a cop. So instead I vowed that if I have a daughter I would name her Mary."

It brought a smile to her face. She could see how the memory of his mother and his promise warmed him from within and lighted his eyes. "That's such a beautiful name. I love that idea."

"What do you have in mind to honor Ragetti?"

The notion reignited the hope within her. "I'll have to think about it. Maybe we could talk about it over dinner?" She eyed the brown catering bag that Jamie carried in. A heavenly smoky aroma was coming from it and her curiosity and appetite were crackling through every nerve ending in her body. "I'm starved. What did you bring in that bag?"

"I'll give you two guesses." He lifted the bag on to a table and waited for her to answer, seeing the anticipation in her eyes.

"Hmmmmm," she pursed her lips thinking. "Well it smells like a charcoal grill so it must be barbeque."

"Close, very close." He held his index finger up. "Hint number one—what day of the week is this?"

"Tuesday." And instantly Eddie knew. "Oh my God, if you went to Anton's there could be sexual favors involved right here in the hospital!"

Surprising Eddie was tough to do because she was smart and had the instincts of a third degree detective, so he loved it when he could pull it off. "Well I hope you brought a negligee to go with that promise." He teased her back. "Because Anton's it is."

"All you can eat Tuesdays!" She stood up, her balance almost entirely back to normal. "Did you get the mashed potatoes and biscuits?"

He ceremoniously lifted out two cartons. "Yeah and with extra gravy." Those containers were followed by two bags of warm biscuits. "And Anton threw in an extra bucket of ribs just for you."

She peered in to the bag and reached in pulling out a suspicious item. "A salad? Seriously? Who are you trying to fool, Reagan?" They organized their feast and sat and ate together while he shared the latest from the 12 precinct and they talked about Ragetti and Christmas.

~~88~~88~~88~~88~~

Three hours later they were stretched out, clothes and all, on the bed in Eddie's room. The fifth floor had grown quiet. On the TV in the room Jimmy Stewart was learning what Bedford Falls would have been like if he'd never been born. Jamie glanced down at Eddie who had dozed off leaning against him, her head resting on his shoulder. He reached for a blanket that was strewn on the bed and pulled it up over her. His movements caused her to stir and her eyes peeped open and she looked up at him. "Every time a bell rings an angle gets his wings."

His mouth turned up in to a grin. "It's a great film."

"I mean Ragetti," she said sleepily as the idea percolated in her head. "I'm going to ask Sgt Renzulli if it's possible to put Tony's shield number on all the RMPs from the 12th. So every time a unit rolls out to help someone, it will be like he's there with the cops responding. Like an angel riding with every RMP."

"That's a terrific idea, Eddie. I bet Sarge can get that approved with the chief."

She was still half asleep and her voice was filled with a dreamy deep velvety whisper. "Thank you for the flowers and bringing dinner again. I'm going to miss this when I get home." She snuggled closer. "You know how to take care of a woman."

He touched a finger tip to her mouth and traced it along her lips. "I'm part of the crème de la crème of the Reagan gents, remember?" He said in a self-deprecating tone as he pressed his lips to hers in a long but chaste kiss. "Speaking of dinner," he murmured quietly against her mouth, "you never said if you were accepting my grandpa's invitation for Christmas dinner. I know you'll only have been out of the hospital a few days so it might be too much. But if you're up for it I know they'd love you to join us even if it's just for a little while. So would I."

"It sounds amazing and I know the commissioner meant well." A yawn overtook her and she dropped her head back on his shoulder. "And I really appreciate his gesture, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea, Jamie. I mean, your dad's the commissioner. He's the top cop."

"He's also my Dad and its just dinner."

"Christmas dinner is never just dinner. And your grandfather is also the former commissioner, I might add." She blinked up at him. "It's just that I would want to be at my best."

"It's ok. I know you've been through a lot and it seems too soon. I know Grandpa will totally understand." He brushed a strand of hair from her eyes. "How about if we have a quiet Christmas dinner together at your place?" He was granted another smile as she tightened her arms around him.

"That sounds nice." Sleep began to overtake her again. "But I'm free on New Year's Eve if you and your grandpa are?"

He rested his head against hers. "It's a date."

 **A/N** Merry Merry everybody! One more chapter to go! Thanks so very much for reading this and following the story-and all your encouragement in the reviews which I truly appreciate. No matter how you celebrate the holidays I hope you are enjoying a wonderful season. :)


	5. Chapter 5

New Year's Eve

Jamie paced around Eddie's apartment waiting for her to finish dressing. He glanced at his watch again. "You almost ready?"

Her voice came from the other side of the bedroom door. "Just a few more minutes. I just want to make sure everything fits. All that food you brought me in the hospital added a few pounds."

"No it didn't." He smiled to himself and imagining that if it did it went to all the right places.

"Liar."

"Hey, that was really great that Renzulli convinced the captain to implement your idea about putting Ragetti's shield number on all the RMPs." He walked in to the kitchen and reached for the plastic container of cookies they made on Christmas.

"I owe Renzulli one." She said still talking from the other room. "And Tony's family is going to be there when the first RMP with his number rolls out."

He lifted one of the round, white confections covered in powdered sugar and took a bite. Mmmmmmm, he hummed to himself as the cookie melted in his mouth and his childhood rushed back to him. Moments like this made him miss his mother. He and Eddie had spent Christmas at her apartment where they had a quiet dinner, made cookies and he crashed on her couch.

"Hey, Mr. Reagan? Can you give me a hand with something?"

"Does this have to do with helping you get dressed?" He teased as he walked toward her bedroom and paused outside the door. It was slightly open. "What is it?"

"Can you zip me up?"

He couldn't remember the last time a woman asked him to zip up her outfit. He put a hand on the door and tentatively pushed it open. Her bedroom was subtly feminine and anchored by the bed which was queen sized and had a cream colored comforter and a scattering of throw pillows in soft green and beige tones. It had two nightstands, an indication of two people sharing its comfort and evidence of Eddie's desire to share her most private space with someone else; but only one of them had evidence of use—an alarm clock, hand cream and several paperback books. He fleetingly thought of other men who may or may not have been in this room with her, none of which found a lasting presence in her life—the second nightstand stood bare except for a lonely lamp. Now the only man standing in her bedroom was him. He was thanking God again.

"It's ok. Come on in." Eddie stood in front of a mirror wearing a black leather skirt, black boots and a pale light blue top with a jewel neck that covered her chest but had open shoulders which revealed bare creamy peach skin. Her makeup was more dramatic for the evening and her lips were glossy light pink. She turned her back to him.

The zipper on the back of the blue top gaped open and he could see she wore a black lace bra. It struck him how intimate a woman's request to zip up her garment was. Her vulnerability and the intimacy of her body open to him in the private refuge of her bedroom. When he had prayed for her recovery and wished to spend his life with her it was little things, small intimacies—a life time of them—that he wanted to share with her. Eddie reached around the back of her neck and lifted her hair up, peering at him over her shoulder. "Everything ok?"

"Everything's fine." As his fingers carefully pulled the zipper up to the neck he could smell her perfume, an intoxicating blend that reminded him of flowers and cloves.

"You did so much for me while I was in the hospital, Jamie. I still need to find away to thank you."

He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the back of her neck. "I think you just did." He whispered.

She could hear his heart in his voice and when she turned around she saw the dark smoky look in his eyes. "I'm glad you feel that way." She reached up and adjusted the lapels of his sport coat. "Because I'm going to need your help taking it off, too."

Her bedroom was quickly becoming one of his favorite places. As they stood face to face he thought about distance. The distance between them in the RMP was less than two feet. And over the years the distance between them had been shoulder to shoulder or miles apart depending on the issue. Now they stood inches apart next to her bed and he could see the light in her eyes and her soul. Without another thought he closed the distance between them again with a kiss. The slippery gloss on her lips tasted like peppermint, whetting his desire and enticing him to deepen their kiss until he felt her moan softly against his tongue.

Eddie felt swept up in to him. She tightened her arms around his neck and pressed against him and felt his kiss from the tingle of her lips to the tips of her toes. It was a kiss that penetrated her mouth and stole her breath away and she fell and tumbled along with him wanting and needing more. She felt the edge of the bed bump against the back of her legs. Falling together, their arms bracing their movements until she was lying underneath him, his lips trailing hot kisses from her lips down the side of her throat.

"Remember when Ray Langley came on to you?" He whispered.

"Yes."

"I wanted to shoot him."

She loved that he could make her laugh and make her body ache for him at the same time. The story of their partnership. "Me, too." She felt something vibrate against her. The phone in the breast pocket of his jacket. The sensation tickled her. "I hope that's your phone."

"Damn," he cursed softly, reaching in to his jacket. He looked at the phone screen and clicked the device to life. "Hey, grandpa." He cleared his throat to sweep the desire out of his voice.

She watched him as he spoke. His face was flushed and his eyes dilated and dark. He looked good enough to eat. She leaned up and pressed a kiss against his jaw and neck.

He tried to focus on the conversation with Henry but Eddie's lips were a distraction. "What was that? Ice on the beltway?" He rolled on to his side, pulling her with him. "Yeah, ok, we'll take Belmont Avenue—it's longer but it's always cleared. We should be there in about forty five minutes. Bye" He let out a sigh and clicked the phone off.

Eddie bent an arm and propped her head on her hand. "Saved by the bell." She teased softly.

"Nothing kills the mood more than talking to my grandpa about Cornish game hens and freeway traffic." He kissed the tip of Eddie's nose. His body still hummed and he let his eyes wander down over her. "We could call them back and say the ice is already dicey in this part of town and we can't make it?" It was a long shot and he knew it but he tried anyway.

She kissed him back. "Oh come on. It'll be a really nice evening. Besides, anticipation is a good thing."

He laughed. "We've had nearly four years of anticipation."

"So what's a few more hours?" She crawled off the bed tugging his arms with her. She leaned toward his ear. "I'll make it worth your while later."

She was killing him. He pushed himself off the bed. "Ok. But we need to make a stop on the way."

~~88~~88~~88~~88~~

St. Stanislaus Catholic church glowed warmly under the snowy night sky and its colorful stained glass windows looked like holiday lights under the snow fall. Eddie and Jamie entered through the main doors in to the nave. She looked out over all the pews and up at the ceiling taking in the beautiful church. "What are all the little votive candles lighted for?"

"Different things but usually to memorialize someone. I always light one for my Mom." He took her hand and led her up the aisle. "Come on."

"Can we light one for Ragetti?"

He squeezed her hand affectionately. "Yeah, definitely." They had never been inside a church before together, off duty. It felt personal and private. As he glanced at her in her winter white coat, with her blond hair around her shoulders, she looked like an angel and seemed to fit in with the surroundings.

"Why did you want to stop here one New Years Eve?"

He paused at the end of the aisle, in front of the altar. "Let's just say I owe God a thank you. The church is on the way to the house so I just thought I could get a prayer in on the way over there." Jamie took several steps and began to kneel when Eddie's hand reached out and stopped him.

"Wait," she said anxiously.

"What's wrong?" He suddenly felt like they were on patrol and she'd seen something he hadn't.

Eddie looked in to his eyes, searching them for what she knew had been in his heart. "No more plea deals."

Jamie was confused. "What do you mean?"

"After the shooting, when I was asleep in the hospital, you sat by my bed and cut a deal with God. Your life for mine." Emotion filled her voice. Her assumption that she loved him was confirmed as they stood at the altar and the prayer she knew he would be making.

He was slightly stunned. Jenn had been right—Eddie had heard him that night. "You remember that?"

She slowly nodded. "I remember everything you said. And we were lucky, Jamie. I'm here and so are you. So no more plea deals with God about your life for mine. Let's just say thank you, promise to do good work, and leave it at that."

He saw the worry in her eyes which had filled with tears. "Ok, I promise." He kissed her and returned to the business of his prayer.

Eddie wandered over to a table covered with rows of flickering prayer candles. She spotted a tray of wooden sticks and lit one, angling it down in to a new candle. The wick glowed and she set it on the table. "Thank you, Tony." She whispered. "I'll never forget. And you will always be in our hearts. Every day."

Jamie joined her. He lit another candle and set it beside Eddie's. He was quiet for a moment and then spoke softly. "To Mary and Tony."

"Mary and Tony." She rested her head on his shoulder. "How'd the prayer go?"

He put his arm around her and pulled her close against him. "We're square."

* * *

 **A/N** Happy New Year everybody! One more chapter to go! :) Thank you so much for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

Henry had pulled out the leaves from the Reagan dining room table, making it smaller to accommodate a party of four. It was set with white linen, flowers and candles. Jamie and Eddie sat across from each other while Frank sat at one end and Henry at the other. As the discussion swirled around him, something about one of his old girlfriends and the basement, Jamie couldn't take his eyes off his partner. Eddie's eyes sparkled with laughter, as though thousands of tiny crystals lit her from within. He was grateful for her recovery and the love he knew they shared, even if putting it in words was still new territory for them. He thought about the kiss on her bed and his mind wandered to what was to come. He imagined the things they would say to each other, exploring the mysteries of her body and the ways he would have her.

"Jamie?"

His father's voice snapped him back to their dinner party. "What?"

"You haven't touched your dinner." Frank's tone was earnest. "Everything ok?"

He sat up straighter in his chair and cleared his throat. Being caught fantasizing at his family's table wasn't his usual MO so he tried to play it off. "Yeah, of course it is." The Cornish game hen on his plate was perfectly browned and was served with wild rice and asparagus, some of his favorites, but he realized he hadn't cut in to it yet. He picked up his utensils and took a bite of the chicken, a much needed diversion from thoughts of Eddie' bedroom. "And I was not caught in the basement with Stacy Martin." He tried to hide his smirk as he spoke around a mouthful of rice. "It was Tina Templeton."

"Ah, yes, Tina Templeton. How could we forget? "Henry laughed and teased him.

Eddie giggled as Frank elaborated. "You see, Jamie's mom and I had a rule when the kids were growing up and coming of age. They weren't permitted to bring anyone of the opposite sex upstairs to the second floor." He reared back in his chair, relishing the retelling of the story which he always thought was funnier than it ever had been serious. "So Jamie, being the future lawyer that he was, decided the house rules didn't include the basement. His mother got home in the nick of time."

"Hey," Jamie defended his actions with dry wit, suppressing his own laughter. "The household statutes you and mom put in place didn't stipulate the basement—only the second floor. You're case didn't hold water and no jury would have convicted me the way you guys did."

Frank took a sip of wine and glanced at Eddie. "We restricted him for two weeks."

Eddie had seen Jamie find his way around guidelines for years and she chuckled as she envisioned a teenaged Jamie, full of hormones and inspiration, tip-toeing down to the basement with a girl. It made her pulse quicken. "That must have been some line you used to convince a girl to follow you in to a basement!"

Jamie rolled his eyes. "Here we go."

Henry piped up. "As I recall you told your parents that the two of you had just been down there to check out the fishing tackle." Frank and Eddie burst in to laughter. "In Jamie's defense, as I recall Tina was a little _fast_." The table erupted in to more laughter.

He felt himself blush. "Hey, what can I say? It was completely consensual and she really was in to fishing."

Henry had gone in to the kitchen to replenish the bowl of rice and returned also holding his cell phone. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news but the city just shut down Belmont Avenue due to snow and ice."

"What? They never close Belmont." Jamie said it louder than he meant to and suddenly saw his visions vanish. He tried not to sound over eager.

Henry looked at Jamie and Eddie. "I know you two didn't plan on spending your evening with us old goats, but I'm afraid your loss is our gain for a few more hours."

Eddie reached over and pressed her hand on Henry's. "I can't imagine anywhere nicer to be snowed in than here with you and Commissioner Reagan."

Jamie saw his evening plans evolve in to something more g-rated than he had anticipated. He needed something to put his fire out and slid his wine glass over to his father who was in command of a bottle of French Bordeaux. "Well, since it looks like I'm not driving anywhere I'll have another."

~~88~~88~~88~~88~~88~~

As the snow fell, the four enjoyed the rest of their dinner and the wine. Eddie only had a small glass since she was still getting back on her feet but allowed herself a glass of champagne when they had moved to the family room and toasted the New Year at midnight. Henry marked the occasion by raising his glass. "Here's to the new year. And to this lovely lady who not only graces us with her company, but graces the department with her bravery. To your good health, Eddie."

The three men raised their glasses in her direction. "Here, here." They sipped the gold, bubbly Champagne and Jamie leaned over to Eddie and pressed a sweet, chaste kiss on her cheek.

Frank liked Eddie and was happy that Jamie had finally acted on the feelings that had been there for years—the feelings that Frank knew had haunted Jamie the night in the chapel at St. Vince's. He leaned toward Jamie and spoke quietly "Looks like God heard you."

"Eddie was lucky and so I was I. I guess sometimes he does hear."

Frank looked in to his glass seeing the millions of bubbles dance around the crystal. "He always hears, Jamie. Don't forget that." He put an affectionate hand on his son's shoulder and squeezed it. Glancing at his watch he noticed the time. "Well, Pop, why don't we call it a night and leave these two on their own for the night."

Eddie worried that they felt rushed off. "Oh, no, no. It's only just past midnight. You should stay."

Henry patted her arm. "I've been ringing in New Year's Eve's since Eisenhower. And I've loved every one of them including this one. But I turn in to a pumpkin earlier than I used to." He kissed her cheek. "I'm glad you were here tonight, Eddie."

She returned the kiss. "Me, too, Commissioner Henry." He chuckled at their running joke and hugged her. He turned and followed Frank upstairs. "And for the record once I take my hearing aids out for the night I can't hear a thing!"

Jamie shook his head, silently cringing to himself. "Sorry." He whispered.

She smiled at him and closed the gap between them. "Maybe his comment has something to do with the looks you were giving me at the dinner table." She reached out and took the glass from his hand. "I felt like dessert." She draped her arms up around his neck.

He brushed his lips over hers. "Until we got snowed in I was planning on you _being_ dessert." He clasped his hands on the small of her back pressing their centers together.

"With a cherry on top." She whispered.

He kissed her, running his hands over her back and down the sides of her torso until his fists grasped her skirt. The feel of the leather in his hands and the soft sighs from her mouth in to his made him light headed.

"Actually, I'm kind of glad we got stuck here." She murmured between kisses. "Now I get to check out your famous basement moves." She walked backward, tugging his hands in hers.

"You're not serious." He said letting her lead the way toward the kitchen. "You really want the first time to be in my parent's basement?"

"We can save the main event for when we get back to my place. But there are other things we can do." Eddie laughed looking around for the basement door. "Oh come on, Reagan you went to high school use your imagination. And besides its New Years Eve—live a little. Are you going to tell me Tina Templeton was good enough for the basement but not me?"

The bubbles from the champagne were going to his head. The buzz between his ears matched the humming in his body and between his hips. He laughed at her. "Actually, you deserve more than the basement. All that's down there is a bunch of camping equipment and trust me when I say it was not a magical moment." He stepped around her until he was leading the way. "I've got a better idea. Come on."

Eddie's stomach did a gymnastic move inside of her and she laughed and followed him from the kitchen down a long hallway. "Where are we going?" They were passing framed family pictures and she caught glimpses of a young Jamie with his parents and siblings.

"My grandpa's office." Reaching the door at the end of the hall he opened it. "He hardly uses it anymore." The room was dark until he clicked on a lamp and suddenly a warm golden glow lit the room. Eddie looked around taking in what clearly had been Henry's office as commissioner. There was an ornate desk with a burgundy leather chair and the walls were a gallery of framed newspaper photos, formal portraits and magazine covers that Henry was in. In the center of the room was a long matching leather sofa which faced a fireplace on the long wall, covered by a mantel piece with figurines and awards. While Jamie lifted some logs from the firewood stack and built a fire, she toured the room looking at every photo. "This is amazing, Jamie. This is Henry's life."

"I know. He's had an incredible life." In a matter of minutes the fireplace was brightly lit and a fire crackled and warmed the room. He turned the desk lamp off and joined her at the photo she was looking at. "That's him with my grandmother, Betty, and with my mom and dad at their wedding."

"Oh, my gosh, your mother was so beautiful." She reached a finger up and traced it over the picture. "A real love story." She turned and looked at him.

He pulled her close. "Those run in my family." As he kissed her again, her hands gently tugged his and walked him him to the sofa. She stretched out on it and held his hands as he carefully lay on top of her. He remembered the zipper of her blue top that he had just zipped up a few hours earlier and now his fingers were expertly pulling it back down.

His hands and lips tenderly traced the contours and curves of her body, kissing and caressing her until the room was filled with her soft sighs and quiet gasps. "Eddie," he murmured in to her hair.

"Yes, yes. What?" She was breathless. Her head rolled from one side to the other as his words and his body told her he loved her.

He paused and looked down at her. "Will you spend next New Year's Eve with me, too?"

"Yes, of course," she whispered as her hands pulled the buttons of his shirt. She placed hot kisses from his neck down his chest, wanting to taste all of him.

"And the New Year's after that?" He reached for her hand and clasped it in his, looking in to her eyes.

She tightened her hand around his. "Yes, the one after that, too."

He kissed her. "And every New Year's Eve after that, for the rest of our lives, until we grow old?"

His request hung in the air around them. As she blinked up in to his eyes his proposal registered. She nodded and felt her eyes fill with tears and she reached up to wipe them away. "Yes, I'll spend them with you for the rest of our lives."

The fire burned hotter, filling the room with heat, as he told her he loved her and they whispered promises and breathless pleas to each other on the first night of the rest of their lives.

~~88~~88~~88~~88~~88~~

Two Weeks Later

Sgt Renzulli shook the hands of Tony Ragetti's parents as they stood in front the twelfth precinct beside the first RMP with their son's shield number on it. The five digit number was printed directly below the NYPD logo on the doors which read 'Courtesy, Professionalism, Respect'. "Officers Janko and McKenna will be rolling out in this unit this morning," Renzulli shared with Ragetti's parents.

Eddie and her partner, Mike McKenna, greeted the Ragetti family and took pictures. As they talked with Commissioner Reagan, Renzulli took a moment aside with Eddie to catch her ear. "It was a nice thing you done for Ragetti, Janko. Recommending this idea of his shield number on the patrol vehicles has made his family proud. You done good."

His words made her smile. "Thanks, sarge. I wish I could do more." She meant it. Tony Ragetti would live in her heart every day in a special place.

"And you're sure you're ready to be back?"

She was ready. She felt it in her heart and her core. "A hundred percent. Honest, sarge."

He nodded approvingly and glanced down at her hand. "I couldn't help but notice the bling, Janko," he said motioning to her left hand.

"Oh." She felt a little awkward at first, but could see the sincerity in his eyes. "Thanks, it was a present. From Jamie." It was all still new to them and to people at the precinct. They had come forward to Renzulli and explained their relationship. But still, after all the years they had been police partners they were self conscious about becoming a couple.

"I was born at night, Janko, but I wasn't born last night."

She smiled and nodded. "It was his mother's." She wiggled her ring finger and the vintage diamonds glittered in the morning sunshine. She thought about Mary Reagan's smile in all the photos she had seen. The same smile she gave to Jamie.

"It's nice. Real nice, kid. I'm happy for you two." The sergeant admired it and spoke quietly so only she could hear him. "I know it might feel a little weird around here right now, Janko, but don't worry. I've seen partners like you two get together and they're happy as clams at high tide. Hand to God."

"Thanks, sarge. That means a lot."

He nodded and looked at his watch. "Ok, Janko. You and McKenna. Time to hit it."

She joined the Ragettis, McKenna and Frank by the car. "Let's roll, Mike," Eddie said as she walked around to the driver's seat. She was stopped by the sight of Jamie walking through the front door of the building and down the stairs. He shook the Ragetti's hands and she waited as he made his way around the car. "What's going on Reagan?"

"You're driving?" He chided her. He put his hand on the car as he walked around it and checked out Ragetti's shield number.

She rolled her eyes. "Yes. Believe it or not some cops let their partner drive. Isn't that right, Mike?" McKenna laughed and climbed in to the passenger side.

Jamie had a brown paper bag in his hand. "I just wanted to give you this. Its coffee and one of those muffins you like. And extra ammunition in case you need it."

"Thanks." She smiled. "And I promise I'll play nice with the other kids."

"Very funny." He brushed a hand down her arm affectionately. "Go get 'em."

Eddie turned the key in the ignition and the RMP purred to life. Jamie put his hands on his utility belt and watched as the car pulled out. He already missed their partnership but was grateful and happy about the new story they were sharing. A whole life in front of them. No more secrets, hidden promises or unfinished business.

"Sergeant Reagan!" Renzulli's voice called out over the crowd. Jamie instinctively touched a hand to the gold shield on his chest, almost forgetting. "Roll call ain't gonna call itself, Reagan! Let's go!"

 _ **Fin! A/N Thanks everybody for following this little story along through the holidays! It was fun to write and I appreciate all of you so very much. Cheers! :)**_


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